issues

It is not easy to be in a long distant relationship, specially if the other person is not as expressive as needed. What becomes a crazy is that communications can break down creating confusions.

Sometimes I do get lost.............I'm sad and I do not know how to figure it out. I just hope , i am strong and i know what to do at the right time.

So, am finally going home on June 20 and I leave for Chicago on June 12....................hoping to bridge some of the distance. It is always nice to go for a walk or a drive around the magnificent mile.

The pic is me at work in school, trying to figure out how to get cables working............lol.

that was fun!!!

What makes a good writer and what makes one a dreamer? Are good writers good dreamers?

I am walking everyday now and it is the only moment for me to think so sparklingly clear, to meander on my thoughts and write through my mind. It is the best moment of the day for me- its is my time for me, an uncompromised time to think about my wants, inspirations and just be happy knowing I do not give myself up according to peopl'e demand. I live by my own rules and know my ordinary life will one day becomes more than ordinary. I can help people to have what they did not, i can just be more than me. I wish i could walk and write at the same time.

My work, which i joined recently is going great- it is integrated marketing and communication, with public relation and advertisement all rolled into one. I enjoy the atmosphere, my work and the fun that goes with it.

Since am working every single day now, it is tiring but i have to say how enjoyable it becomes when you choose a proffesion you love. Tonight after a massive house cleaning, will do some reading.

Here are some pictures froma few months back......a school bricktown event and an international students day in the state capitol.

we speak your names

It was touching to see Oprah's legend ball tonight- somewhere deep within i could listen to myself speaking to me. I could feel me being more strong than ever, knowing that i wouldn't give up my dream ever.

I will not let others let me down again, tell me that i'm unworthy, mock me or ignore me. I am strong as I have never been before. I have the power, the courage, the dream in my eyes to just let it go.

I will be me, i will work harder and be more patient- the reality and the truth does not have to be told right now. It will come, come- slow and for sure. I will wait as i have waited always.

I will smile more, work crazier, read all over, be smarter and I will make it happen. I will because I can!

kandahar

Kandahar- the journey into the heart of Afghanistan- is a movie you have to watch.

It is amazing, touches your soul and you will know how lucky you are when you see what is it to yearn- for money, for food, for love and for freedom.

So mad

Yes, I woke up at 7 this morning, after sleeping at 4!!!!!

I have decided not to be mad and so am trying not to be. My room mate woke me up, coz after sleeping the whole day yesterday she decided to cook at 7 with lots of additional noises. The last thing i want right now is to share my apartment, it definitely saves me money. But i have started to seriously consider things.

Yesterday was nice, after days work, ended up in dinner with Win, some shopping at Ross, coz am going home and then back home for a strawberrery shake till me and Win decided to go to ihop for some more eating and chit chat.

I am so mad right now, but with a cup of green tea trying to keep it calm.

(The pics are my sister and one of her friends in Bangalore , India, next she her boy friend and another friend and the rest me and Win and my new bag for my grandma, coz am going home!)

Yes, I commit.

I COMMIT

1. To loose 10 pounds by this summer-90 minutes/6 days a week.
2. Meditate everyday- to keep me calm
3. Liberate myself- open up and be more free.
4. Take care of my body.
5. Read more
6. Practise composure- to be calm even in the toughest moment.
7. Learn something new
8. Be more social- meet new people and new ideas
9. Get my license
10. Change my tone.

"You can choose to settle for mediocrity, never venturing forth much effort or feeling very much. Or you can commit. If you commit, i gurantee you that, for very pain, you will experience an equal or surpassing pleasure".- Patt Summit.

ramblings

How important is solitude? Do we want it and when do we avoid it?

Sitting almost alone this weekend in my apartment, with friends touring the world and the states- i'm looking for the answer. The few minutes in the car wash and back and forth journey made me realise I want to go back to my life that i enjoyed. My life of solitude.

I want to get back to the world of poetry, to books and writing. I want to know myself better. Everytime we hide behind the crowd avoiding the loneliness, jump into another invitation for the party- I think it is time to know are we doing it just because we want to be in that party or are we scared of being ourselves?

I have always treasured my moments alone and am ready again to bond with real friends, talk with real people and spend some quality time with my self. Travel alone, do my things on my own and explore life.

Who thought i would miss my friends in msn messenger so much? Who knew that friendship is not about time, it is about reaching the point- the point where you can be you. My search still continues- of that friend i'm looking for. Last night it was nice talking toWin, knowing that everyone has their own story, it was a relief to talk.

Life can only be better with summer:)

happy crew

The law lab semester ending lunch was today. After eating out almost once every weekend now and last night including in an unplanned Red lobster dinner, i thought i just couldn't eat anymore.

It was fun, we and our bosses and their bosses ended up in the Gopuram- an Indian restaurant lunch buffet. It was fun, the food, talking to my Boss and ofcourse he finally eating the 'dosa' with hands:)

Thank you for the lovely lunch and the great working atmosphere!!!!

grad nite out

Yesterday was a special day. It was raining and we had to go out to celebrate Naparat's graduation. We decided to go for a good meal and then just hang around.

The dinner was good but the sudden quietness was bothering me. After dinner, we all went to to have ice cream in the shivering cold......it was raining and Andrew was walking around everywhere while I ended up getting wet.

The funny thing was, we splashed water everywhere, six of us squeezed into Andrew's car and realised that we didnt want ice cream............finally starbucks. Hot chocolate and coffees later, we played games and was ready to go home.

I miss my internet, i miss our nightly chats and my net surfing and reading blogs. I am suddenly cut off from the entire world and I hate being home and not being able to communicate and read my morning news.

Things have been good, my interview in Oklahoman went on pretty well. I am not sure if I can do the voluntary thing, coz it has lot of immigration laws involved in it, so I don't think i am doing that. My new friend Sean is funny and nice. He is the easiest person to talk to without getting judged. I guess it helps me also because i don't have to think about some other friend getting involved in it or something.

It's summer now, and i have to work. I just wish if I could leave everything and be in chicago. Doesn't solve anything coz will go in July may be.It's time I take responsibility for myself.