all new

I do not know what life is all about. There are certain moments, when you sit back and think about life. What is it all about?

My uncle expired and it was a big shock. Am paranoid about cetain things in life and loosing peole who i have been close to is one of them. It scares me to death. Within the last few moths , i have lost 2 very close persons in my life, Naresh my friend and Chatni mesho, family friend of ours, but he is more close to me than most of my relatives. It was a big loss. Since then each and everyday i have thought about them. It makes me go crazy. With this now, i cant think how with time all i will do is think of people who are leaving me.

With so many people in the house during Christmas time, I did it well, perhaps for the first time. i didnt go mad. I tried hard to be the epitome of an hostess, so i went along well and had fun eventually. There are things that i have learnt here, and treating strangers is one of them. I mean those i am not friends with but are of my bf's or family. My role has changed, from the girl to the woman who is in charge of the house.

One thing is for sure, I have learnt to appreciate my mom more than ever, realising how tough it had been on her to take care of the family and do her job and then have millions other requests to do. I have never turned around and thanked her, thinking it was all my due. Times i have realised but expressing is so important.

January is not only the beginning of a new ear for me , it is one of the vital years where you do not want things to go wrong. My last year in school and very important. By the time I graduate in December, would need a job. So keeping my fingers crossed. Need lots of luck!

Winter blast!

One long day well spent. Went out all day seeing the glamor of the big city, all of us. It is almost eight of us and we had a blast.

Back home at last, and realised havent written for a while. So, here it goes, am fine and enjoyed watching the skating ringwith kids and adults full of spirit. It was a good day.

Tired and need to go to bed.

Jingle bells

Merry Christmas!

Whats more important in life, a job and self independence or a love life? I always thought people whom I love were my priority. I never took my career as seriously as perhaps I should have.

But, now i will. Have suddenly realised that this is what i am meant to do. Everyone has their own parameters. There are things you might want to do, the essence of love might be diffrerent, the moments spend together might have different values. It is not the same for all.

When is the time to call it quits? How long do you hold on to? Does the man of your dreams never exist? Are they all the same?

I do not have answers to it. Perhaps i never can think the way the other person does. Cannot understand why he cannot be straightforward about his feelings, dont know why he cannot express his emotions, why his friends are his life? Is he not ready to take on a new life, a different set of emotions and make it his own? Why does he have to cling to his past?

A pattern that I will never understand. Women are more opionated and true in terms of what they want. Whatever they do, they are more attached to it than anyone. No wonder they make better workers and relationship builders.

But, i cant let go my dream and fall into the pattern of life. I cannot be someone who will disappear with time. I am not routine. I will not ever be.

Its my wish!

I love advertisements and when people usually try to change channels or get their cup of coffe, i actually stay glued to the TV. The latest, baileys, caught my attention. It is so good. Funny, good to watch and the right stuff for the product and goes well with the tag line.

Decided to have a little fun on the eve of christmas. Might do up a wishlist and the resolution for fun. My bf things that silly and he has his own ideas of fun. So, am going to do it alone.

I have learnt one thing in the due course, that if you are happy doing it, just go ahead with it. If others are not, just dont give it up, because it seems silly. There are so many things, the reality of life that i have seen in the last one year. Reality of a realtionship. So, am going to enjoy my own way.

There are times I wonder, why people have to put up their lives in the blog, so public. Do we want people to read it and confirm to it? Or let others know whats going on in my life? Or is it just we are in an age, a situation where nothing matters. When neighbors do not know neighbors, do we need to hide facts about life? Who cares if someone knows my reality?

What are we running after........what do we want? Who decides what is right and what is wrong?

wow

I am addicted and its been a long time. The first time I saw it, I was digusted with the lifestyle, the one night stands eveything.

Now, I have to watch it. Sex and the city, is what I am talking about. I like the fashion, the bonding of the friends and the independence. I try my best never to miss the show.

Vacations and with snow all around, cant go out for my walks. Have added the dreaded pounds. Need to get them off. but then have decided to take care of myself, the right care i mean.

Inspiration, well the show i just saw in the style channel about sex and the city fashion. It is time, time to give me the right care.

Finished of the novel by Sidney Sheldon, honestly I do not read much of best sellers, but liked it. Have another to go. So, will wash my face, moisturise and put my eye cream!!! Yeaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Ideas?

Not sleepy and crawled out of bed to hide behind my laptop.

Did I mention that me and Joy did this yahoo group for the sudents from santiniketan. It is just doing so well. Actually we talked about it, me in work just talking about our old friends. Joy, did the whole thing and voila, it is just spilling over with members.

Need to write , an article for Telegraph but cant make up my mind to write on what. watched two movies today, Swades and Bad girls, very different from each other.

Reading blogs, seems have become one of my favorite past times. Also for my other blog it makes me mad how people do not keep their promises. So bad.

Guess, will start exercising from tomorrow agan. After the drive through downtown today realised that cold does not matter. If so many people can still walk or jog in it, so can I. So, tomorrow is the day. Do not want to add up the 15 pounds I have lost. Have already added three, too much of chocolate and coke i guess. Oh, also the burgers during exams.

Need to sleep. good night for now.

Dashing through the snow

In Chicago, it is all white covered in snow and too cold. But i love the place, more so because of the zest of life here.

While I try to catch up on my self in the vacation and spend some quality time with my boy friend. While I cook and go for long drives in the new BMW, it is fabulous! I love the heated leather seats.

Yesterday was my day, my turn to make him feel special. So, though I had to get my nail polish, got one from Revlon, made sure my best friend got his day out too! I have always been pampered, taken out for shopping, my wishes fulfilled. So, hopefully, he got his due too.

I love candles, and got a huge one!

Hopefully will be a good vacation with the good and bad....all the fights and blah blah blah.

Oh, just to mention that the long 12 hour drive from Oklahoma to Chicago was fine but the last few hours got too tiring. A snowy christmas and lovely seeing the decorated christmas trees peeking from all the windows.

Dashing through the snow........................................

Oh my God!

Embarrased but happy, how i turn into this fool everytime. The trip i was supposed to make in a friends car to Chicago was actually a bluff.

Turned out that my bf orderd pizza for me to be delivered at my apartment at midnight, after i was going back home after all my long hours of work. So, happy enough i waited for my pizza. to hear thta knock on the door finally made ma happy. Was hungry and not in a mood to cook. Opened the door to find my Bf standing with the pizza.

That was crazy, never expected him. Never even could think that he would come. He asked day before yesterday, what were my plans after work? So as suaul i said, after work will go back home and have to pack.

All said, we had fun, all of us had the pizza, chicken wings and coke.

Reena left today morning, bad feeling. Went to drop her at the airport. The apartment's an entire mess, will take me a day to clean it up. She left too many stuffs, making me wary that i better keep a count on what I buy, do not want to leave so much when i leave, just because i cant take them along with me.

Might leave tonight for Chicago.

driving to chicago!

Working like mad, almost 10 hours a day, before i can leave. Am going tomorrow most probably, have my flight ticket. But since someones driving to chicago, am going with them. A friend not directly related to me. Have to say that i prefer road than flight, so am going to have a blast.

Wish, I did not waste the money getting the ticket. Anyways thats ok, reaching two days ago.

Have a head ache, too much of work i guess, need to go home and pack and clean up. Also Reena's leaving tomorrow for Boston. Shes graduating.

New room mate and new life, don't have one yet but will have after I come back.

OVER!!

Done with my semester. Not sure really how my last exam went.

Now that it is over, I am enjoying my break. To start with made dinner for Win last night. Missed out her bday on monday due to exam reasons.

Watched a movie and slept late. Have to work today and the next few days before I leave for Chicago, making sure that i do my hours.

Almost done

Done with one more exam, Submitted my final western culture assignement. Finished my campaign for PONDS. Actually, wish I had a little more time, could have made it a little more fun. But also have to study for the finals tomorrow. So, not bad.

Oh, have to say, i am eating like crazy. Last day and then am going to go back to my routine. Yesterday night slept at 4 in the morning. So, before going to bed, ate again as I got hungry and then went to sleep. Need to get back to exercising!

One more night to go and am done for this semester!! Hope it goes well, really need to it to go well. Wish me luck!!!

Yeaaaah!

Sunday morning and done with my western culture assignment. Wuhoo!!

Which means, have only two left. The good part is I actually love doing that. Have to do a campaign for Ponds and last final. What a relief!

Very excited and happy. After Tuesday, am all free, have to finish off my hours at work and zoom I leave on next Sunday!!!

again

Disaster, all I want to do is eat!

Finals and really crunched for time. But suddenly needed a burger from Mcdonalds, so when Win called up at almost mid night, went along with them. Got my burger and a trip to Walmart. Came back with coke and pork patties and buns to keep me going for the next few days.

I need good food while I study, everything that i want to eat to keep me calm.

Whole day have been busy trying to finish off Monday's submission, it is driving me nuts. Also tried to split my one bedroom apartment into two. Instead of sharing the bedroom, thought might use the rooms as individual rooms. So moved into the living room. i like it, but it seems all the rest hate the idea. So i promised am going to take the bedroom for more privacy reasons.

I agree, would be better. So, will rearrange all my stuffs again, but after my exams. So, I get to enjoy both!

Really have to study now.........

winter blues

Depressed and sad, have no clue why. Guess, its a winter blue.

Got a few stuffs today, small ones for gifts and to have fun in Christmas. Also very hungry. All I want is to go home amd do nothing. Sleep may be.

Snowing

It is snowing. After all this cold, snows here.

Can hear by neighbors shouting and enjoying their first snow here. As i sit and try to finish another submission listening to christmas songs in radio, it is fun!

It is terribly cold here. Thankfully do not have to go out much. Have work tonight though.

Got to get back to studies!

over

I do not write , when i have a lot to say. Sleepy today, so will keep it short and sweet.

Drove alone yesterday for the first time, went to school to bring Reena( my room mate) back home. Was fun!

Too cold here. Finished off with two finals today. Media management went ok, but not so good. The IMC class, group project presentation was good, very good. Moose (my prof.) liked it. mOre so because she liked the print ads i did, and that made me so happy. Guess i can be good in ads.

Doing my laundry but feeling so lazy. Have four more (exams) to go!!!

still working

It has been a while, almost 10 hours that we have been working on our project. The presentation is on tuesday, and the finals. Have to finish it off.

Feeling a little sick, I really hope that I do not fall too sick.

The great part is that yesterday I did drive. It was perfect, went out at midnight with Reena, but did good. A step forward and I really hope I can make it soon.

Also got my ticket for my trip in winter finally after a lot of thought. Leaving on 18, cant wait to finish of my exams.

Before that an episode of exams to finish off with. Wuhoo!

live ur life

I suddenly have realised in life that no one is more important than you. If you love someone and belive that he is your priority that because that contents you and you like it.

Weired idea, I agree. So I am tired listening to people and trying to mould myself their way. I have decided to live my life my way. Period.

Tough, deciding that I will do what i want to do and not consider anyone elses. Last night and the sleepless tears and emotions taught me that.

I so miss my friends back home. When I had so many good friends back home, I wonder whom do i talk to here. It is so disgusting at times. All i want to do is go home and be happy. Bad phase.

So,the worth for ones self is very important in life, specially if you happen to be a woman. It is not all about catering to other people needs and making their smile yours, but to give yourself the reason to smile.

We are so busy pleasing other people that we tend to forget our own reason to live. We live just for us and not for them. Sometimes, a good dress and a little make up helps. You do not have to know or do what people apprecite in you, its good to be bad once in a while, just being you.

Trust me, a colorful you with the right ear rings and a dash of lipstick can do wonders. It makes you feel better and treasured. the blues will be gone and you will even work better.

Once in a while pamper yourself.Take a day off, read a book or go for a movie. If the family is not supportive and encouraging and likes singing the chorus about dreadful and old you are, ignore them. Let them envy you as they peek through the curtains of their house.
Be strong , be powerful, for there is no other you. Give yourself some time, some worthiness so that epople stop considering you a more a public person who is supposed to cater to other people.

Never forget to give yourself a good pat,for all the things that you have done and are still doing.
When things go the wrong way, do not fear to let them know. might be tough and but you will surely be in their respected list and next time they will be a little more cautious about ordering you around.

So,whether it is your family , home or someone you love, tell them to give you the worth you deserve. Be you and live your moments with care. Live with fun and eliminate things that do not make you happy. Cut down on the habitual stuff, of automatically doing things everyday. If you do not want to do it, do not do it.

Live your way, the worlds much happier in the park or while you watch the sunset over a cup of steaming coffee. This is life and you are going to live it once, live your way!!!

Day Gone

Another day gone by, thought will attend the holiday celebration at aschool. Could not do it , suddenly realised i have more work than I could handle.

Have a project submission tomorrow, so have to work. Media Management projects are really tough. Anything to do with Matt's class is a lot of work.

Everytime I get tired, a grade or something good peps me up. Yesterday was such a day. The A in my business plan was unexpected, wasnt my first A in his class. But the project meant a lot.

Past mid night and am scribbling here, when I am supposed to work on my submission. So, will get going, rest later.