when i grow up

I was always intrigued by the fact of what I want to be when I grow up. It was thinking of how life would shape up. Growing around parent's who were scientists, gave the other person to conclude that is perhaps what i would undertake to. Of course I never did it.

I remember wanting to be a teacher, exactly the way I saw my teachers in the kindergarden days. i wanted the power over so many children and an unruly facsination of writing in the huge blackboard. It was something I saw as a privelege. In the evenings, i would sometimes go around the garden talking to the plants taking them as my students.

Years later, i just liked to dream, of various stuffs. I started writing and thought of becoming a poet. I would sit and dream and write poems. few publications later , I was confidant of becoming one. I loved it , but another passion took over it. May be i could be a dancer. Years of training in classical dance convinced me it was what i wanted to do. Creativity at its best.

They always remained close to me , of what i want to be when i grow up. soon, I just wanted to be nothing, just wait and see what i can be worth of. Things remained like this for a while till i realised i was meant to teach. i did it perfectly with my juniors , sometimes even my classmates. i knew I had found my calling. That is what i have waited for and i loved it.

After a few years of determination of wanting to teach , i realised i wanted more creativity and perhaps getting into teaching will not give me that or it would.......but i wanted to try something else too. I changed my field, from a student of english literature, something which i was good at and enjoyed very bit of it, I left it all to go to work in a call centre. shock......shooked everyone. Ph.d is what i was supposed to do or may be teach, why a call center where one would have to change the rutine of normailty. working by night and sleeping by day. it was achallenge too. i hated my public life, wasnt much of aspeaker and loved staying with my books to a job which was nothing but talking all the night long. It drove me crazy , but i learnt and soon realised i was good at it. Just that i have never tried to speak much.

A year later i was bored, i didnt like the monotony of the job any more and i had learnt it . I needed change. so, I moved on.............this time instead of going back to english, i decided to study mass communication. I knew English literature, so can come back to it whever i wanted to. But mass communication? i had no idea.............so i had to try it.

Here i am doing my masters again in mass communication in Oklahoma. challenging but i have adapted to it and enjoying it too. My dreams all that i wanted to be when i grow up, still remains with me. i still love to write, love reading novels, love to teach and though i do not get much time, i love to dance to make me happy.

I still havent decided what i want to do. Have kept them all alive and though of a lot many more. A journalist or work in an ad agency or do my ph.d or my latest inclination ........to be a photographer. i havent tried it , apart from clicking pics of friends and family, but I want to learn it and do something creative with it.

A long way to go, but monotony is just not my life.........i love new things, i love surprises, i love the thrill of doing something new. No wonder i change the setting of my rooms every month, i dont like seeing the same things over and over again.

It is funny, i am 26 and grown up.........so its a joke......when i ask myself what do i want to be when i grow up?