all new

I do not know what life is all about. There are certain moments, when you sit back and think about life. What is it all about?

My uncle expired and it was a big shock. Am paranoid about cetain things in life and loosing peole who i have been close to is one of them. It scares me to death. Within the last few moths , i have lost 2 very close persons in my life, Naresh my friend and Chatni mesho, family friend of ours, but he is more close to me than most of my relatives. It was a big loss. Since then each and everyday i have thought about them. It makes me go crazy. With this now, i cant think how with time all i will do is think of people who are leaving me.

With so many people in the house during Christmas time, I did it well, perhaps for the first time. i didnt go mad. I tried hard to be the epitome of an hostess, so i went along well and had fun eventually. There are things that i have learnt here, and treating strangers is one of them. I mean those i am not friends with but are of my bf's or family. My role has changed, from the girl to the woman who is in charge of the house.

One thing is for sure, I have learnt to appreciate my mom more than ever, realising how tough it had been on her to take care of the family and do her job and then have millions other requests to do. I have never turned around and thanked her, thinking it was all my due. Times i have realised but expressing is so important.

January is not only the beginning of a new ear for me , it is one of the vital years where you do not want things to go wrong. My last year in school and very important. By the time I graduate in December, would need a job. So keeping my fingers crossed. Need lots of luck!

Winter blast!

One long day well spent. Went out all day seeing the glamor of the big city, all of us. It is almost eight of us and we had a blast.

Back home at last, and realised havent written for a while. So, here it goes, am fine and enjoyed watching the skating ringwith kids and adults full of spirit. It was a good day.

Tired and need to go to bed.

Jingle bells

Merry Christmas!

Whats more important in life, a job and self independence or a love life? I always thought people whom I love were my priority. I never took my career as seriously as perhaps I should have.

But, now i will. Have suddenly realised that this is what i am meant to do. Everyone has their own parameters. There are things you might want to do, the essence of love might be diffrerent, the moments spend together might have different values. It is not the same for all.

When is the time to call it quits? How long do you hold on to? Does the man of your dreams never exist? Are they all the same?

I do not have answers to it. Perhaps i never can think the way the other person does. Cannot understand why he cannot be straightforward about his feelings, dont know why he cannot express his emotions, why his friends are his life? Is he not ready to take on a new life, a different set of emotions and make it his own? Why does he have to cling to his past?

A pattern that I will never understand. Women are more opionated and true in terms of what they want. Whatever they do, they are more attached to it than anyone. No wonder they make better workers and relationship builders.

But, i cant let go my dream and fall into the pattern of life. I cannot be someone who will disappear with time. I am not routine. I will not ever be.

Its my wish!

I love advertisements and when people usually try to change channels or get their cup of coffe, i actually stay glued to the TV. The latest, baileys, caught my attention. It is so good. Funny, good to watch and the right stuff for the product and goes well with the tag line.

Decided to have a little fun on the eve of christmas. Might do up a wishlist and the resolution for fun. My bf things that silly and he has his own ideas of fun. So, am going to do it alone.

I have learnt one thing in the due course, that if you are happy doing it, just go ahead with it. If others are not, just dont give it up, because it seems silly. There are so many things, the reality of life that i have seen in the last one year. Reality of a realtionship. So, am going to enjoy my own way.

There are times I wonder, why people have to put up their lives in the blog, so public. Do we want people to read it and confirm to it? Or let others know whats going on in my life? Or is it just we are in an age, a situation where nothing matters. When neighbors do not know neighbors, do we need to hide facts about life? Who cares if someone knows my reality?

What are we running after........what do we want? Who decides what is right and what is wrong?

wow

I am addicted and its been a long time. The first time I saw it, I was digusted with the lifestyle, the one night stands eveything.

Now, I have to watch it. Sex and the city, is what I am talking about. I like the fashion, the bonding of the friends and the independence. I try my best never to miss the show.

Vacations and with snow all around, cant go out for my walks. Have added the dreaded pounds. Need to get them off. but then have decided to take care of myself, the right care i mean.

Inspiration, well the show i just saw in the style channel about sex and the city fashion. It is time, time to give me the right care.

Finished of the novel by Sidney Sheldon, honestly I do not read much of best sellers, but liked it. Have another to go. So, will wash my face, moisturise and put my eye cream!!! Yeaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Ideas?

Not sleepy and crawled out of bed to hide behind my laptop.

Did I mention that me and Joy did this yahoo group for the sudents from santiniketan. It is just doing so well. Actually we talked about it, me in work just talking about our old friends. Joy, did the whole thing and voila, it is just spilling over with members.

Need to write , an article for Telegraph but cant make up my mind to write on what. watched two movies today, Swades and Bad girls, very different from each other.

Reading blogs, seems have become one of my favorite past times. Also for my other blog it makes me mad how people do not keep their promises. So bad.

Guess, will start exercising from tomorrow agan. After the drive through downtown today realised that cold does not matter. If so many people can still walk or jog in it, so can I. So, tomorrow is the day. Do not want to add up the 15 pounds I have lost. Have already added three, too much of chocolate and coke i guess. Oh, also the burgers during exams.

Need to sleep. good night for now.

Dashing through the snow

In Chicago, it is all white covered in snow and too cold. But i love the place, more so because of the zest of life here.

While I try to catch up on my self in the vacation and spend some quality time with my boy friend. While I cook and go for long drives in the new BMW, it is fabulous! I love the heated leather seats.

Yesterday was my day, my turn to make him feel special. So, though I had to get my nail polish, got one from Revlon, made sure my best friend got his day out too! I have always been pampered, taken out for shopping, my wishes fulfilled. So, hopefully, he got his due too.

I love candles, and got a huge one!

Hopefully will be a good vacation with the good and bad....all the fights and blah blah blah.

Oh, just to mention that the long 12 hour drive from Oklahoma to Chicago was fine but the last few hours got too tiring. A snowy christmas and lovely seeing the decorated christmas trees peeking from all the windows.

Dashing through the snow........................................

Oh my God!

Embarrased but happy, how i turn into this fool everytime. The trip i was supposed to make in a friends car to Chicago was actually a bluff.

Turned out that my bf orderd pizza for me to be delivered at my apartment at midnight, after i was going back home after all my long hours of work. So, happy enough i waited for my pizza. to hear thta knock on the door finally made ma happy. Was hungry and not in a mood to cook. Opened the door to find my Bf standing with the pizza.

That was crazy, never expected him. Never even could think that he would come. He asked day before yesterday, what were my plans after work? So as suaul i said, after work will go back home and have to pack.

All said, we had fun, all of us had the pizza, chicken wings and coke.

Reena left today morning, bad feeling. Went to drop her at the airport. The apartment's an entire mess, will take me a day to clean it up. She left too many stuffs, making me wary that i better keep a count on what I buy, do not want to leave so much when i leave, just because i cant take them along with me.

Might leave tonight for Chicago.

driving to chicago!

Working like mad, almost 10 hours a day, before i can leave. Am going tomorrow most probably, have my flight ticket. But since someones driving to chicago, am going with them. A friend not directly related to me. Have to say that i prefer road than flight, so am going to have a blast.

Wish, I did not waste the money getting the ticket. Anyways thats ok, reaching two days ago.

Have a head ache, too much of work i guess, need to go home and pack and clean up. Also Reena's leaving tomorrow for Boston. Shes graduating.

New room mate and new life, don't have one yet but will have after I come back.

OVER!!

Done with my semester. Not sure really how my last exam went.

Now that it is over, I am enjoying my break. To start with made dinner for Win last night. Missed out her bday on monday due to exam reasons.

Watched a movie and slept late. Have to work today and the next few days before I leave for Chicago, making sure that i do my hours.

Almost done

Done with one more exam, Submitted my final western culture assignement. Finished my campaign for PONDS. Actually, wish I had a little more time, could have made it a little more fun. But also have to study for the finals tomorrow. So, not bad.

Oh, have to say, i am eating like crazy. Last day and then am going to go back to my routine. Yesterday night slept at 4 in the morning. So, before going to bed, ate again as I got hungry and then went to sleep. Need to get back to exercising!

One more night to go and am done for this semester!! Hope it goes well, really need to it to go well. Wish me luck!!!

Yeaaaah!

Sunday morning and done with my western culture assignment. Wuhoo!!

Which means, have only two left. The good part is I actually love doing that. Have to do a campaign for Ponds and last final. What a relief!

Very excited and happy. After Tuesday, am all free, have to finish off my hours at work and zoom I leave on next Sunday!!!

again

Disaster, all I want to do is eat!

Finals and really crunched for time. But suddenly needed a burger from Mcdonalds, so when Win called up at almost mid night, went along with them. Got my burger and a trip to Walmart. Came back with coke and pork patties and buns to keep me going for the next few days.

I need good food while I study, everything that i want to eat to keep me calm.

Whole day have been busy trying to finish off Monday's submission, it is driving me nuts. Also tried to split my one bedroom apartment into two. Instead of sharing the bedroom, thought might use the rooms as individual rooms. So moved into the living room. i like it, but it seems all the rest hate the idea. So i promised am going to take the bedroom for more privacy reasons.

I agree, would be better. So, will rearrange all my stuffs again, but after my exams. So, I get to enjoy both!

Really have to study now.........

winter blues

Depressed and sad, have no clue why. Guess, its a winter blue.

Got a few stuffs today, small ones for gifts and to have fun in Christmas. Also very hungry. All I want is to go home amd do nothing. Sleep may be.

Snowing

It is snowing. After all this cold, snows here.

Can hear by neighbors shouting and enjoying their first snow here. As i sit and try to finish another submission listening to christmas songs in radio, it is fun!

It is terribly cold here. Thankfully do not have to go out much. Have work tonight though.

Got to get back to studies!

over

I do not write , when i have a lot to say. Sleepy today, so will keep it short and sweet.

Drove alone yesterday for the first time, went to school to bring Reena( my room mate) back home. Was fun!

Too cold here. Finished off with two finals today. Media management went ok, but not so good. The IMC class, group project presentation was good, very good. Moose (my prof.) liked it. mOre so because she liked the print ads i did, and that made me so happy. Guess i can be good in ads.

Doing my laundry but feeling so lazy. Have four more (exams) to go!!!

still working

It has been a while, almost 10 hours that we have been working on our project. The presentation is on tuesday, and the finals. Have to finish it off.

Feeling a little sick, I really hope that I do not fall too sick.

The great part is that yesterday I did drive. It was perfect, went out at midnight with Reena, but did good. A step forward and I really hope I can make it soon.

Also got my ticket for my trip in winter finally after a lot of thought. Leaving on 18, cant wait to finish of my exams.

Before that an episode of exams to finish off with. Wuhoo!

live ur life

I suddenly have realised in life that no one is more important than you. If you love someone and belive that he is your priority that because that contents you and you like it.

Weired idea, I agree. So I am tired listening to people and trying to mould myself their way. I have decided to live my life my way. Period.

Tough, deciding that I will do what i want to do and not consider anyone elses. Last night and the sleepless tears and emotions taught me that.

I so miss my friends back home. When I had so many good friends back home, I wonder whom do i talk to here. It is so disgusting at times. All i want to do is go home and be happy. Bad phase.

So,the worth for ones self is very important in life, specially if you happen to be a woman. It is not all about catering to other people needs and making their smile yours, but to give yourself the reason to smile.

We are so busy pleasing other people that we tend to forget our own reason to live. We live just for us and not for them. Sometimes, a good dress and a little make up helps. You do not have to know or do what people apprecite in you, its good to be bad once in a while, just being you.

Trust me, a colorful you with the right ear rings and a dash of lipstick can do wonders. It makes you feel better and treasured. the blues will be gone and you will even work better.

Once in a while pamper yourself.Take a day off, read a book or go for a movie. If the family is not supportive and encouraging and likes singing the chorus about dreadful and old you are, ignore them. Let them envy you as they peek through the curtains of their house.
Be strong , be powerful, for there is no other you. Give yourself some time, some worthiness so that epople stop considering you a more a public person who is supposed to cater to other people.

Never forget to give yourself a good pat,for all the things that you have done and are still doing.
When things go the wrong way, do not fear to let them know. might be tough and but you will surely be in their respected list and next time they will be a little more cautious about ordering you around.

So,whether it is your family , home or someone you love, tell them to give you the worth you deserve. Be you and live your moments with care. Live with fun and eliminate things that do not make you happy. Cut down on the habitual stuff, of automatically doing things everyday. If you do not want to do it, do not do it.

Live your way, the worlds much happier in the park or while you watch the sunset over a cup of steaming coffee. This is life and you are going to live it once, live your way!!!

Day Gone

Another day gone by, thought will attend the holiday celebration at aschool. Could not do it , suddenly realised i have more work than I could handle.

Have a project submission tomorrow, so have to work. Media Management projects are really tough. Anything to do with Matt's class is a lot of work.

Everytime I get tired, a grade or something good peps me up. Yesterday was such a day. The A in my business plan was unexpected, wasnt my first A in his class. But the project meant a lot.

Past mid night and am scribbling here, when I am supposed to work on my submission. So, will get going, rest later.

wow

Back home and happy. Guess what got an A in Matt's paper........gosh, am so happy. Worked but never expected it.

Its like winning an oscar!!! Wow. So, celebrating cooking chicken for dinner and am going to enjoy every bit of it.

Ok, gotta check on my chicken....smells good.

Cold

Man , its cold. Very cold.

So lazy, inspite of knowing that i have just too much to finish, have not studied the whole morning. Got up late and called home.

Back to work and class......will reach home around 9pm. A little nervous, have to finish a lot. Cannot concentrate these days.

The campus looks cool, with all the lights. Will have to get some pics. Everyone's so busy these days. Exams......the last few days.

Wuhoo!

Blogging can be so fun, not because i blog but more so because you can read about so many people.

Yes, i do surf blogs and mostly of my friends. It is nice to see how people are feeling and doing right now.

Have lots to do in the next 15 days. Have not driven my car yet. Still scared. But have to learn up pretty soon.

The good part if that i have reduced over the one month. Guess, I am doing well because i do not get the urge to eat all that junk again. When I do, i have it though, but thats very rare. Eating all healthy and doing good. Could not go the gym this week as am working on the weekend.

My shopping for Thanksgiving actually made me happier, not becuse i got my formal trouser but realised I am one size lesser.

Rhitwika got married today and am so happy for her. Think she is coming to California, makes me happy will have a friend around. Hopefully she remains good and doesnt change.

Cant wait to finish off my assignments.........gotta study....buh bye.

Thanksgiving

The last two days have been more than exciting. Day before yesterday, got my car! My first car!

Fun part, cannot drive very well yet, am still scared after that crash. So, will go out every Sunday with Srinath to learn it up.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and it could not be better spent that what i did. We all went to Christina's house and had a great time. My first Thanksgiving and more than that my first time going to meet and see an american family. It was really nice.

The drive to Frederick , almost the southern most part of Oklahoma took us more than two hours, The drive was amazing, as Win drove , we chattered all along the way. Reaching her house, settled in the laps of calm and serenity, it was peaceful. Met the whole family, with grandpa and grandma, aunts and jovial cousins and of course Christina's parents , sis and her!

It was fun as we had our breakfast and gathered around to talk to one another and play games. As for the 20 people in the house, names had to be known. So, we all had our name tags!

Lunch was an event in it self, with turkey, ham, bean casserole, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoe dish, my favorite mashed potatoe and corn, it was a gala mean, which we all enjoyed.

Afternoon was spent with surprises, honing our shooting skills on a poor can of dr. pepper. A walk to the cotton field and time for dessrts. Yum, Yum. To end it all, we packed up out to go's also. I had my favorite mashed potatoe!

On the way back home and spending time with such a wonderful family, where we not only had fun and an exposure to a family here, it was the memory, love and warmthness that is treasured. Hugging and shaking hands later, left for the city in the evening. As the waved back at us, the whole family smiling and cheering, i left the family misty eyed, reminding me of my family.

One year in USA almost and all has been good!

At last!

A fight that continued the whole night, and cooled down with the morning breeze!

My car paper is still not done,will do tomorrow. But with a terrible headache did not go to the class the whole day to realise that I have more work to do that i can even think of.

So, its time to rock and roll..........study, study and back to study!!! One more month to go and this semester is done! Good, huh?

The best part, I did find out time today to spend with my bf. It did help. Oh, have to mention Arun here, he is one funny person and of course a person with whom you can talk!

One more lesson learnt, trust few poeple, specially when all they try to do is spoil your peace and happiness, fuming over your good and so...............er.....horrible!

Thank you God

Have a lot to tell. Well, yesterday was diwali night in the university, went on very well.As for me had an unplanned hair cut. I liked it actually!

Today, another great day, a litle shopping but all quality stuff. My formal black pant and a leather jacket. That was cool!

Looking back, i guess it is not what i like the most. I am thankful and specially on this Thanksgiving that I have such a lovely friend in him. Funny thing to put in the blog, but since I am writing here, why not. He is the best human being that I have ever met. I have always wanted and prayed that i wanted a good human being as my bf, and I have one!

I just can wish and hope that he gets what he wants his way. This Thanksgiving , i am thankful for the lovely family that i have, who have been with me no matter what(even when they hated my decisions),a cute little sister and my boy friend, who is the coolest. Touchwood! Couldn't have asked for more.

Thank you GOD!

Dilemma

Dilemma. Not sure if I should take the break and go to Chicago for winters or just be here and enjoy the vacation.

The reason for going there, does not exist any more, so would probably be a good idea not to go and waste my money now. But also given the fact that I love that city I would want to go and have some fun!

But since none of my friends will be here during the break, what am I supposed to do here alone?

Since the moving seems all planned, a little nervous. Hope things work out right, the entire reason for all this hum drum.

Working, but will go for dinner tonight.

finally

My couch is in and finally it looks more of a home than a temporary place where i am huddled for the time being. It is not the best looking couch but a good deal and am fine with it. Was not sure if i could make the trip again to keep on looking at the new arrivals and then take mine.

For the next one year , it will do it's job.

Finally, got all the stuffs i needed, and am happy. Wish i could skip the work for a little while and take some time out.

My cars here, got some stuffs for it too. Just have to drive now and am scared. Will try it tonight after work.

A little tension crawled in and I hate asking money back from home for my next semesters tution. I know when converted, it is just sooooooooooo much. I hate it. I wish I could be efficient enough to juggle work (i mean more work , like off campus) and also get my grades. Most persons i have seen, dip on their grades.

Not sure what to do, very fickle these days, once i decide to do off campus from next semester and then suddenly realise I actually cannot do so much. i have to study. Weired but true, It is lot of work in mass communication.

Had become joke with my nerd friends, that all I do is study. Not true. I like my time and space too. Of course , I have to study also, that's why am here. Not sure if their course does not need to or they copy it off from someone. Funny!

With all this rigidity and craziness, am not sure where i am going........are those who are working a lot gaining more or will gain more in the final run? Or will i make it? Time, that Time............will say!

Wait.......is all i can do.

u got it

The negative side of taking responsibilties and some more work is the chance that you can be bombarded with criticism.

One of the main things is to realise the fact that you cannot please everyone and there will always be people who will come up with nothing good but all trash. Some are true and it is wise to accept it and improve next time and for the rest, you listen and forget it. It would keep you much happy!

So, do what you have to do, and then just forget it. The crticism and all the harsh words are just part of the job, sooner you understand the better!

car arriving!

Sad, very sad...who wouldnt be? Had a fight with my boy friend.

I am not sure, but at times when it is all lonely here or the days are not so good, i wish he was here. I came here, to bridge the distance and got caught up again. There are times when i love my privacy and the fact that he is there but i have a life which i lead independently.Other times, i hate it.

A small little silly thing can be of so much of bad taste more so because all you do is try to fix it up via the phone.

Better, after a bad day.......he is coming tomorrow, so is my car!

GUESS WHAT.................today's 15 november!!!! I am done with my project and that is such a big relief!

I am glad i finally did it.........one big lesson learnt. That things which seem impossible, might not be so. All it needs is taking one step at a time.

A month more to go and this semesters done too. Now, who doesnt want that?

Have to do my storyboard, the TV commercial and the radio spot. That is exciting!!!!

Oh, its freezing cold today, went out for my class and came back with eyes and nose watering. It was bad. Cant wait for my car........I guess will have to learn it fast. Today is my day!!

friday night out

Yesterday had my friday night out!

Came back from work and got a call from Naparat and Win for our friday dinner. I was too tired to cook my dinner and thought of calling them up, but did not want to bother them. So, the call from them was more than welcome.

A hearty dinner at Win's lovely apartment, watched TV and gulped down all the ice cream I could with the promise that i would invite them soon for a party at my place.

It is nice and am getting used to the fact that Friday night we gather around and have a nice time. Also i want to save sometime for myself alone. Came back home early and enjoyed my long 12 hour sleep!!!

Nothing could be better. I am excited that will be free after 15 nov, but the idea is scary with 3 days to go, i have to finish that massive project!

Going to Thanksgiving In Michelle's and Christina's house. It was really nice of them to invite me and i am sooo excited. I always wanted to be a part of thanksgiving and now I will be. It is my first thanksgiving in USA, and though we do not have it in India have always been part of it through films and television.

A sunny Saturday and lots of work in my to do list.

facebook

Another great morning!

While i sit and sip my cup of tea, i wonder how am i going to finish up my business plan. More i think, more complicated it gets. No matter what, will do my best and finish it off. Am doing a magazine based in Chicago.

Also have to do the lay out for the newsletter and hand it over for publication.

But today's friday and it's my day!

The facebook is amazing a thing, the idea of it simply amazes me. The brouhaha over it is worthwhile. Student power is the in thing, they can do wonders and also create it. As for me, i did the newspaper story for the facebook for my university in the campus newspaper. But now that it is a part of the facebook and people go wild scribbling in each others walls and poking one another......it is fun!

The good news is , am making friends through it. There are times when you do not do the right thing at the right moment. The facebook comes as the compensation, you can still do it later. I can often tell people what i want, because in classes inter personal communication rarely happens. Making friends, so thats good.

Also did I mention, will be freelancing for Telegraph (www.telegraphindia.com), which makes me so happy. Though am not sure when I am going to write, but will squeeze in some time am sure.

Way to go girl!!!

The Calm

Have to tell you this, that my living room looks so cool. you can just walk in and say , this is the place where you can be creative.

Though I like my corner of the bed, window, candles and study lamp. I enjoyed more of the formal study settings today. My study table with its change of place, is so perfect now. So, spent my whole day doing up my stuff in the formal yet so great a corner.

Have lots more to do, i mean finish off stuffs, but with the change of settings its starting over again and refreshing.

My evening was well spent in the gym. Amazing isnt it? How i manage to get to the gym, am just so lazy to get out of home. But once i manage to do that, i enjoy every moment of it.

I always feel theres a place in your life which is truly reflects you and where you can find the peace. Funnily enough, here it is the gym for me. After my 40 minutes of the treadmill, i walked around and sat in the basketball seating area and just sat there for a while. I can feel the calmness there and perhaps can meditate much better than when i struggle to do it at home.

Going good! Good news going back home in summer for a month i guess.

my corner

Creativity is one things that always turns me on.

All the projects finally turn me into a nerd but i enjoy it. Now with more projects, the last one of media management and 2 more of my advertising, its a great feeling to suddenly turn into a creative person plotting advertising strategies

The feeling of my corner is something i have always wanted and cherished all my life. Now, that i share my apartment with a room mate and the dact that it has only one bed room is at times lack of privacy and creativity. But then instead of spending my entire salary on the apartment , may be I can spend it on my wishlist.

This morning, changed the arrangement of the living room, got so tired seeing the same stuff everyday. The bedroom, no matter how much i try cannot be done, its just perfect. Suddenly the house seems to have a character of its own and a nook for me. Something has to be mine, what if it is just a corner. A place where i can think and do my own.

Cant wait to move my couch in..........that would make it so perfect!

Feeling great, finally my pics get uploaded! I sometimes wonder, are online journals as close to your heat as the real diary writing. How free can one be when it is so public? Unless of course you can hide the link..............

Have free hours for myself, just cant belive that! Awesome.......so dinner's done and will read a few poems and then sleep. Have not done that in a while.

Oh, the pic that will upload here, Joy changed it to black and white, have to admit his aesthetic sense, definitely it looks better.

Finally, its over

Back from class. A big pat on my back for finally finishing of my two projects. The bonus point project made me go mad, finally things have fallen into places and it is all done.

Back home and a little sad. Have no clue why, missing home........my friends, all hotch potch. Yet, things are fine, yet there are moments i dont know what to do. I crave for the solitude, yet there are times like these, have aweired mixed kind of feelings.

Was too busy for the last few days, so finally will upload the pics. My Haloween here, went fine. actually saw the decorations but celebrated it in the class itself. One of my classmates brought abasket full of candies. I loved the idea anf it was definitely fun. As for me took a Hersheys packet of Nuggets, my favorite- almond one. Shared it in work (law computer lab) and in class.

It is Novemer, yet winters not here. But the leaves will soon be gone and I love the color now. Oh, have to tell that i have a wishlist finally. My couch is still not home, hope i get a good one soon. Cheap and ok one for me. Have thought of getting a good digital camera for photography. Not sure If i can afford now, but yessssssssssssss, someday.

Too many mixed confused reactions these days about my internship. No clue if i can get one, why cant i work in one. Hopefully it gets solved, coz i really want one.

Should have a gala dinner for my hard work......did nothing but treated myself to the sinful vending machine. Once in a while...........thts ok.

Cant wait for the projects to get over. I need my break!!!!!!!!!

wishlist

Suddenly am all lonely......theres a big void which gets awakened at times. Exams are all i have.......but no matter what it is, it cannot be the comfort right now.

I am sitting on my bed with books all around me and yet cannot read...........have pics to download yet I cannot do it.

A strange feeling. A friend of mine is coming ti California and that makes me so happy......at least can talk over sometimes if not meet now.

Lots of things to do and more thing to think. I am lucky in a lot of way but just that I am sometimes deep down in the void.

Funny part , i suddenly have a wish list. I need to have something to calm me down. Hmmm, things are fine , hope gets better. Wuhoo!!!

Finally i did go to the gym, it makes me feel good. Everythings fine till now.

It is Haloween and Diwali together.

The gym factor is going on fine, only I wish i could make it happen everyday. the sinful chocolate cake and the bad taste is finally dissolved.

I hate mondays and it is back to work and school again.

GRRRR

Crap..........my laptop got hacked it seems. Really have no idea what they get out of my laptop. It scared me.......... and downloading a better anti virus.

Spoiled my entire mood...........and plans of going to the gym.

oh, also to mention it was sinful having that cheesy chocolate cake and truly I didnt like it much. what a waste.

The last two days have been fun..................finally am going out a lot and they come back heavy on my purse!

Yesterday, after work went out with Win, to old navy.......i didnt get what i liked, so walked to ross, and yes.................shopped. wasnt in plan but got a few sweat pants and tracks, that is what am wearing these days and sweat shirt and my favorite a white soft bath robe. I left mine while coming here from India and could not wait to get it here finally.

Also got two bowls and plate and a small cake plate. Man, it made me all happy!!!

The best part, went to eat in Japanese restaurant, it was too good. I liked sushi and the entire box dinner that i took. Might want to go back to that place again. Yum Yum!

I love weekends , woke up late and went out again, this time to Krispy cremes because my friend wanted to ..........so, chocolate doughnuts......... and then to walmart to do my grocery for the month. These days it seems easier to do the grocery in the bulk because it saves me time. Also the fact my cars still not here, I cant walk any more............makes me sick going to do the grocery all the time and walking home alone feeling so stupid. So, changed it and doing it all in a bulk now.

So, it is all done and my over fed refrigerator kind of makes me happy. It is sinful..........but who cares?

Oh, I have to say I like the haloween decoration and every time I go out , I forget to take my camera along. But I promise, I am going to get some and will post it here. For now........am all happy.............but hate to getb back to the projects.

So, study time..............cya

Happy hour

No matter how much I tried the pics would not get uploaded to this site. It is crazy............well these days things have been going wild.

I feel completely burnt out and tired. No matter how much I sleep, I am still sleepy. So, these days instead of doing my projects, am sleeping...........funny.

The newsletter kept me awake till 3 am yesterday...........its fun doing it but then at times makes me crazy. Here I am back to work and for almost 8 hours.

Oh, have to mention that my websites doing great, getting some amazing people to do for my international face and its going on fine. Am really excited about it. I never thought it would pick up so well.

The bad news, its kind of lonely these days, no matter how many friends I have, there is suddenly this void, which seems to get deeper with days and difficult to fulfill.

Yesterday was good, had a hearty lunch in Gopuram with Win. Ate happily...........having not to think about wahing dishes once the meal was done. That's a big relief! also went fr the free movie night. watched- in her shoes and i liked it.

how good you are!

worked all day and had my class till 8.40 pm and now back home.
dinners ready......rice, omlette and aloo curry. oh, also a can of coconut water......which i found in the oriental store the other day.
once home with a teriible head ache.....decided to cook up fast , wash deishes and then along warm shower and am fresh as the morning dew.
have to tell about latest following, I listen to Dalila...........every day. its is in one of the Fm channels here, and she hosts the show. people call up she talks and then play them songds. the good part is listening to her. one inspiring lady.........people usually call about problems and she talks with them. i have got into the habit of listening to it these days.......almost every night. it is calming.......
they talked about a song tonight.............by Kelly Clarkson....called a moment of life. and this caller said how while driving back to home one day, she heard this song on the radio and thought about what was the moment in her life that other people wait for a life time. back home, while she set plates for dinner and saw her three sons doing their stuufs, she realised she had her moment when she had the new born in her hands.
true , i realised, how many times we whine thinking that i am not tht lucky, we never had the moment. but the greatest moments perhaps come from the everyday life something which we never realise how special it is.
tonight , i did not whine.........i realised i had everything i had wanted for , thought of in my secretest of dreams. it might be tough sometimes, but the great things dont come easy, do they?
so, when life is tough....it is because of the right direction that we have taken.instead of taking everyone for granted........realise the worth and make your life worthwhile. make yourslef happy. sometimes traeting yourself in the worst of moments in not a luxury but a compulsion. believing that u exist for yourself not always not for others to judge you of what you are.........indulge in a chocolate or a film. may be buy a dress or just a cream.it is not the money you spend but the worth and importance you give to your self. in the long run it not only makes you happy but helps you in the long run with the self esteem worth of a million!!!!!!
Enjoy and before you go to bed today.....look at yourslef in the mirror and realise how special you are.it can be only you!

oopsss

the attitude is one thing that can perhaps never change. i now think, it is something that is inherent in every person and something that parents and mentors should know about every child. thts is the secret of the childs future.
funny , but still so many indians come here with the same outdates mentality. they dnt want to learn, they do not want to grow.......they still want to get married ...of course this time with a NRI.
a shame and perhaps the reason whey they can never be independent or ever grow. they come to get the better groom or a larger sum of the dowry. for guys the dowry rates shoot higher if education in USA peeks out of their portfolios. such a shame.......
the thoughts remian the same , they still bitch about other affairs and boy friends and who marries whom..........never thinking back of improving their own skills and intellectual power. they love boasting about their dads and uncles who are a hot shot back how and how well politically they are connected. who are they?.............they are all about their some well connected stinking rich parents. thats what they are........they never grow. today they have parents to boast of, tomorrow NRI husbands...contented lot they are.
my weekend mostly end up spending time with myself, which is a sin the rest of the week. so, i sleep and eat and relax and study.watched movies, salam namaste and page 3.........all on the internet....woke up late and did some beauty traetments.............hehhe..........henna after a long long time. once done it stinked so badly that thought of cancelling my gym idea. but never mind who cares...........dried my hair and sprayed my deo on my hair...........gosh.........and headed towards gym.
back now and hungry......its oriental night.......coz it takes minimum effort. rice and salmon and vegies. just poured in half apacket of mixed vegetable into the pan of onion and capsicum and added salmon.salt and pepper and soya sauce and its done.
before my head for a wash....waiting for the rice to finish.five minutes and its done. so........a bath and dinner and then of course my studies. hmmmmmmmmmm
enjoy!!!!!

miss u

It is a lonely weekend. Sometimes i do feel hanging out with some close friends but funny part, dnt have one! When I need to sit and talk or may be share something..........its absolute blankness.

It is something i miss of my friends back home. I wish there were here. Funny part, after walking in the parking lot for a while i came back home. These days as i enjoy the tv shows all are about friends. Whether i watch FRIENDS on weekends or sex and the city weekdays, its great to see friends bond and have a good time together.

Weired to see how writing is being into fashion. the narrative style is getting people. Whether it is sex and the city or bridget jones. so, when i have nothing to do, i m back home and rattling in my computer.

what do i want.......... a good friend. a real good friend. which i do not have here. of course a apartment decorated the way i want and something creative to do.

watching another film while i miss having a friend here. at times it gets too fake here....to superficial and stupid. nothing to get me back on track........

MSA

Meet my multicultural students association......

sleepy

i am exhausted, not that i have studied too much.......but very tired. have another mid term exam, of media management on thrusday, while i try to do my best....dont think i can. i am sleepy and want to sleep.

thats what i did for the last two days..but i still want to sleep. hopefully will manage to finish up on my reading before the exam, need to study but i think will sleep.

when i grow up

I was always intrigued by the fact of what I want to be when I grow up. It was thinking of how life would shape up. Growing around parent's who were scientists, gave the other person to conclude that is perhaps what i would undertake to. Of course I never did it.

I remember wanting to be a teacher, exactly the way I saw my teachers in the kindergarden days. i wanted the power over so many children and an unruly facsination of writing in the huge blackboard. It was something I saw as a privelege. In the evenings, i would sometimes go around the garden talking to the plants taking them as my students.

Years later, i just liked to dream, of various stuffs. I started writing and thought of becoming a poet. I would sit and dream and write poems. few publications later , I was confidant of becoming one. I loved it , but another passion took over it. May be i could be a dancer. Years of training in classical dance convinced me it was what i wanted to do. Creativity at its best.

They always remained close to me , of what i want to be when i grow up. soon, I just wanted to be nothing, just wait and see what i can be worth of. Things remained like this for a while till i realised i was meant to teach. i did it perfectly with my juniors , sometimes even my classmates. i knew I had found my calling. That is what i have waited for and i loved it.

After a few years of determination of wanting to teach , i realised i wanted more creativity and perhaps getting into teaching will not give me that or it would.......but i wanted to try something else too. I changed my field, from a student of english literature, something which i was good at and enjoyed very bit of it, I left it all to go to work in a call centre. shock......shooked everyone. Ph.d is what i was supposed to do or may be teach, why a call center where one would have to change the rutine of normailty. working by night and sleeping by day. it was achallenge too. i hated my public life, wasnt much of aspeaker and loved staying with my books to a job which was nothing but talking all the night long. It drove me crazy , but i learnt and soon realised i was good at it. Just that i have never tried to speak much.

A year later i was bored, i didnt like the monotony of the job any more and i had learnt it . I needed change. so, I moved on.............this time instead of going back to english, i decided to study mass communication. I knew English literature, so can come back to it whever i wanted to. But mass communication? i had no idea.............so i had to try it.

Here i am doing my masters again in mass communication in Oklahoma. challenging but i have adapted to it and enjoying it too. My dreams all that i wanted to be when i grow up, still remains with me. i still love to write, love reading novels, love to teach and though i do not get much time, i love to dance to make me happy.

I still havent decided what i want to do. Have kept them all alive and though of a lot many more. A journalist or work in an ad agency or do my ph.d or my latest inclination ........to be a photographer. i havent tried it , apart from clicking pics of friends and family, but I want to learn it and do something creative with it.

A long way to go, but monotony is just not my life.........i love new things, i love surprises, i love the thrill of doing something new. No wonder i change the setting of my rooms every month, i dont like seeing the same things over and over again.

It is funny, i am 26 and grown up.........so its a joke......when i ask myself what do i want to be when i grow up?

solitude

It makes me mad. I cannot belive this. After writing down all my thoughts which i know will never come back, it all got deleted, have no clue how. I hate it.


Disgusting and perhaps more than it. Thoughts are perhas one of the things that do not and cannot be poduced in the exact same manner over and over again.

Its fall break and while i get time to be myself, hid away from the class and the projects, am enjoying my own time. While i always think, where to write down my thoughts , in my diary that i have maintained for years now or here, it is a technical disadvatange writing here. Like had my entire 40 minutes of writing all deleted in one stroke

Still mad at it getting lost. but then i enjoyed the weather today. Always love the lonely walks amidst the nature. It is calming and thoughtful enough. yest, in the fight to write it dwon or not, most of them get lost. Lost forever.

It is tiring to see the alphabets pop up in black and whites always. It is rather a dictated life of what i have to think. I love it doing my way. and am glad, i got the chance to pick up some great books from the libraray, something i am familiar with. something that gives me the freedom to read or not read.

The walks are good enough to inject thoughts that are worth keeping, yet they disappear mostly. The idea of keeping them seems not so in affirmation, they just happen to vanish from nowhere.

It is the sky and the nature, the loneliness and the monotony of steps falling one by one that weaves the unconsciuos thoughts, something i can truly claim to. No wonder writers and poets lived in places of natural beauty and changed places once they thought the well of inspiration has dried out.

As i stretch here in the bed with my laptop, inclined on my double pillow, have my books in the bed side table beside me............it is nothing but bliss. the half lighted room, the slow burning of the vanilla candle, the bakground of the televison running in the living room entwines with the music in my laptop, creates its own symphony.

It is freedom.........to think, to create and visualize and then have it all lost in a wink. It just wont go away, the power and satisfaction of writing dwon the thoughts. who is more blessed................wordsworth or j.k. rowling? or just the next door Jane, who writes in her own journal and dreams .......sitting beside her open window................

everyday

It is the only time I get to write here, when I am working. yesterday was a kind of a mixed day for me. Good and bad is what makes a day.

Designed the newsletter with complete layouts yesterday for the first time. It is really cool and looks nice. Thank god, microsoft publisher was there, liked it tremendosly. Using it both for my newsletter and also my advertising class.

Bad news, is somehow fely very insulted yesterday. felt discriminated. Do not know if that it was meant for, or a stupid gesture and just making fun of me which I concluded to be discriminating. No matter what it was, it did hurt me and in a bad way. Perks of stying in another country I guess.

Finally , am back on my feet , no point staying with that. it is friday and am ready for a weekend long sleep. Not to mention my mid term coming over and my paper submissions.

Also end of this month and will have my car....hopefully I can drive. Am a little scared after the accident , if I can make it or not. What it did was take my confidence away, but am sure can learn that too.

Made a lot of new friends and life is not bad. Might not be having the best phase though, but a few tear drops later, it is ok.

OKLAHOMA STATE FAIR

It is alwyas good to have a taste of the local culture and what better way could it be than visting the local fair.


I went to the oklahoma state fair, to see for myself the local flair and I have to say I enjoyed every moment of it. Went with friends, just strolled around watching people enjoying the atmosphere. The entry is $7 but it is worth enough if you have enough time. we did not, bu nonetheless we enjoyed.


Best part was the food, which caught my attention. i wanted to have something specifically of oklahoma. not knowing what we stroleed around trying to figure what to buy. Finally I settled for roasted turkey leg. It is huge, will post the pics too. win nejoyoed the sausage , while Naparat wanted to have cinamom rolls. Finally we all got an Indian taco and shared it.

It was tiring, but fun. Win ( my friend from Burma) took a lot of pics and to my amazement my fun little digital camera which I got for free was working superbly.

Came back home amd was too tired. Had to go to Bindu's house ..they had puja......a day of different cultures poured all in one. Everything done. all that wa sleft was my assignment which i had no clue of how to finish it off.

So, yesterday night (sunday), was a nightmare. but finally I did manage it. What a relief. it is back to the week full o work and classes and some more dishing of projects.

new car

I rarely get time these days, but the fun part is I am doing so much stuff all at the same time. It is driving me crazy , but am enjoying it too.

Working out seriously these days, seems I weigh 5 pounds less that what I used to. Not bad...huh? The newsletters getting bigger, which means more work.

Somehow, I have taken a fancy to sports clothes , something i have always liked. So, thts is going to be my style statement, best part it keeps you motivated enough to revisit the gym and keeps you fit.

Getting my car also hopefuly by next month. But, yes along with it will have more problems to face up with am so sure.

Rest seems fine, am juggling job and other committments well enough till date.

JOB TIME

I am working today in the law computer lab, and I have to tell you how much I enjoy it!!!

It is just fabulous, I am learning a lot of stuff and what I like the most is I like doing it. It's awesome a job to be in.

So, I am working eight hours today and doing fine. So, my fear of the first day is gone and my Boss is too good!!. Amazing, is it not?

Plans for the evening, well am going to the international compepetition, which am the committee member of and its lot of work tonight, so by the time I reach home.........am going to be dead tired. But who cares....am enjoying!!!!

WORKING

I am working in the law library and it is officially my first day. Not to mention a little jittery that I am, when people come along with all their laptops and so many problems. But that is excatly what I am supposed to do, solve their problems.

Am working 8 hours today and till 11pm night. Also helped with the presentation set up and guess what have to go and get things off after it is over. Really hoping things get right.

But have to say , it is a great learning experience , and a little time and I can do much better. I hate having to call my boss when i cant do up things. I know it is my first day and am fine..........want to get used to it faster.

Did not have class today.......but was here almost the whole day, still am. packed along a crab meat sandwich to keep me working till almost mid night.

These days really missing sumana, I need a friend here and cannot find one, someone whom I can really talk to...........getting emotionally bored at times .......

naresh

I have been quiet, not telling it to anyone. But it has been a big shock for everyone. Naresh left me , left us all.

It just all happened suddenly, so suddenyl. I met Naresh after coming here, a friend whom you could traesure for life- someone so helpful atht life without him was not possible. He helped me with grocery to taking me to places, because I do not have car yet. Helped me to move into my apartment......

Something so unbelievable, that you never would even think of it. He was funny, we fought like crazy and had fun. He was always laughing. the evening I met him for the last time, I never realised it would be the last day I am meeting him.

Only Naresh could be that stupid, so stupid........to leave us all. Will always miss you Naresh- you taught me to value the person whom you are spending the moment with, what if he is not there tomorrow. Be happy whereever you are, will always think of you in my quitest of moments.

how can this be?

Is this crazy?Just heard from Joy, how he has been harassed while coming back from California to New York. This is so crazy. We never believe it , i guess , till we are a part of it.

I could not belive that such things do happen...still. Quoting from his blog.........

"End of a long summer internship at California. Myself and my friend Dhyanesh were all looking forward to the cozy life back in school. AA flight 16 at SFO airport, to depart at 12 noon for JFK. Both of us were unwinding at the isle seats and preparing for the next 5 hours 30 minutes of boredom.
The whole flight seemed full, but the window seat beside me was still vacant. I was waiting for someone to turn up at the last minute before I would buckle-up my seat belt. 10 minutes before departure, a middle aged lady showed up but instead of seating, went back to the front. 5 minutes before departure, an AA stuff came directly to me and ushered me to take my bags and follow her. To my bewilderment she took me just outside the aircraft and asked me to wait. Because Dhyanesh was with me, she called him out too. "

For more of the incident, refer to the link below.


http://joydutta.com/blog/index.php/2005/08/28/american-airlines-what-the-hell/

SYLVIA PLATH

I would have been not so worth if it had not been literature. i still don't know if i did take the right decision in taking mass communications for my course. English literature is my first love. It will always remain so.

I hate the mundane things, so insensitive , so not me. It is like going crazy trying to learna nd understand the things which does not have anything to think about. It is so superficial. i like the challenge though, like how i get scared and slowly emerge a victor.

Sylvia Plath still makes me thing. It is where pschology meets literature, a variety very rare. Saw the movie today called SYLVIA, absolutely wonderful.

I still fall back on peoms and novels for my sanity, to make me realise what I am. It just soaks up everything.

May be i will do my thesis again in EnglIsh. That is what I like to do, what i like to read. where reading or pursuing is of tremendous interest, not mere worldly reality.

I loved the movie, perhaps it is insane to like Sylvia plath, not many I have heard like her, But i do. It was not her fault, never hers.

Watching the movie, made me go back to where I belong. Perhaps that is what I should do.

I am the editor of the multicultural students association, and I love to write to see people write, to be expressed. It is lot of work , but i enjoy doing it. Don't know is it because if I like English or mass communication?

I have feelings i can do, do things which some dnt even think exists. i can do it. I have alwsy been a fighter, fought for my rights, fought for my power. I dont seize but I do not allow to be seized also.

I should write again, go back to my dreams of writing novels or peoms , that i have not written for a year I guess. A strange feeling that i get everytime I read a poem or a good writing. Some day, some day it will happen, where I can rise.........above the rest!

INDEPENDENCE DAY, CHICAGO

Here i am , back to university. Back to deadlines, rush and the list of exams that keep on growing.

Summer was good. i finally did cover the Indian independence day as well. It was fun and nice. To see the Indian flag hoisting in downtown Chicago is a different experience altogether. will put the pics on the blog.

As of now, looking for an incampus job and planning for my hectic days ahead. I finally got the internet connection in my apartment. God, how i hate to stay without one.

While i rush in and out of my schedules, will be editing the multicultural stuent associations newsletters and create the web page. lots of work, hope I got paid for it. But it is just voluntary. I like doing it though and given the similar blog that i am already doing on international students in USA, guess I am the one chosen.

Still alone in the apartment , waiting for my rrom mate to join me on sunday. Was boring till yesterday, till i got the internet, will live my life now.

paki day

I have never seen a Pakistani Independence Day!!! Have you?

Reality- I saw it today in Chicago!!! There are too many things to experience, things I never thought i would be part of.

It is a big rally taking place........with floaters( the kind of things u see in the republic day parade in tv....the huge car like thigs with various motives). They have it al here and along procession. The road has been blocked specifically for the rally, notified for the last seven days.
While they shout "pakistan zindabad" and swirl their flag, everyone is a part of it. Indians who have come to see, localities who see it with strange surprise.....

I couldnt take a pic, that is what I missed. Wish I was out before with the camera.

Amazing is it not. And tomorrow with our independence day.....its a long days of events. Tomorow is the flag hoisting.......in downtown chicago, which I will be covering for my newspaper. The rest of the events will take place in the following days in Navy Pier and warren park. I am going it miss it, since am going back to oklahoma on 16.

new blog

It is coming to a complete circle, all that I have wanted is finally taking the shape. I have been planning this site for a long time. I liked the idea but was not sure if this would work, or more importantly if i can organize it.

Well, no matter how hard I tried , I could not find out the designer who could do up my page. My friends were all busy with their summer jobs. So, when I had left all hope, I just stumbled into one.

Going through the blogs i suddenly saw that people actually used the space not only as personal journal but also as the space for group activities and even business. That was it, I had found. I knew with the blog, I dont have to run around someone who could design my web page and I can do what I wanted to do, without having to rely on someone else.

So, my new blog. the journal for international students. Things actually happened smoothly, with little of hard work it took shape finally. I enjoyed every moment of it.

With all the organization and the editing, it was done. Publishing them in the blog was so exciting. Finally all done, it worked great!

The best part , it got approved by google for the ads and I am actually going to put them too by tonight. Isn't it that great?

It is so good to think of something but putting them all together and seeing it some to life is so perfect. I have always wanted to do this, to do something that will have my creativity as well as serve as an inspiration for the people reading it.

Summer spent well, is all I can say. I might not have earned thousands, but it is perhaps worth more than it. Wuhoo!!!!!

WILD PANCY 

ME IN CHICAGO 

get your ass in here!!!
shocked? hehhe.........i like it though. its a sign written on one of the bars here, called twisted poke.
i see it so many days , and every tme i pass it, i never once forget to read the sign and smile at myself. so American. kind of things we always imagined it would be. i like the attitude though.
the place is one stretch of bars and the weekend portrait of people spilling all over and unbelievable long ques, so unsightly here. people going crazy to step in the happening bars, that are more open now with summer, have removed the glass panes and people swarm in to socialise. life of singles amd so many others.
people in all shapes and sizes, lovely dresses and bursting energy. i cant help but like it, though am not that social and not much such life. i prefer the quite one.
it is perhaps the life we associate america with. the halters and the shorts , the dresses that we have longed to have and dont have places to wear. so like hollywood movies, people getting drunk and rarae sights of couples kissing. its all there.
i still get excited to see, what i once saw in Tv. i dont realise, it is suddenly apart of me now. i ahve friends who are a part of it. few days back when i went to the beach, just for a stroll, i couldnt shut up seeing people walking in bikinis. i have never seen one back home.....not that u wont find one, i just didnt happen to cross one.
its so stupid though, silly, kiddish...but i still find it thrilling. a life which i have never been a witness to. i love the long drives, i like the nights. cant help skipping the roadside fountains that seem to burst open at night to water the side walk grasses. its automatic and timed. they just whoosh up with water everyday and just go off so unnoticed.
simple but diffrent.....i still cant forget an article i read in voices(statesman) years back. the gril from a small town and a new student in delhi suddenly finds herself at odds seeing people with every kind of make up at colleg, and later in the article she mentions i dont find it odd any more, because now i am a part of it.
kind of my feelings. am still amazed at so many things. more i see, more caught up i get. so before i traet them as they are supposed to be , why not keep the emotions and days for myself to be read later, when i am all part of it.

world this week

i have grown up watching THE WORLD THIS WEEK of Pranoy Roy, every friday night. and i have always wanted to have that authority and power, the coolness.....somehwere deep within i have aspired to be him- a journalist!
life took different turns and i ended up in mass communication after all my mond boggling thoughts , if i wanted to go for my ph.d in english and add a Dr before my name like my parents.
destiny had different plans it seems. and i followed Pranoy Roy. later the NDTV became my favorite. I swear by Rajdep Sardesai, i still do. he is one hell of a journalist i would always want to be. absolutely amazing.
strangely enough, today, am just a part of that group. my first proffessional reporting. somehow silly, in doing a small assignment and ofcourse my first. am sure rajdeep sardesai did his fisrt with similar feelings like mine. yet, i felt in control and power! the press and the media is amazing. suddenly people look towards you. they want to be part of the snaps i take amd the interviews i scribble.
one night out and i know what it is to be a part of that world, the world that i saw every frday night glued to my Tv. kind of starnge and weired the girl, who liked to be covered with books and hated talking to people is suddenly out and talking to people, thts the profession.
am thankful to rajdeep sardesai and pranoy roy and of course my great boss, for giving me the amazing feeling. its good to be part of the crowd, yet hold on to the indentity. news can be so powerful!!!!

from chicago

yesterday was a superb day. funny and still wondering how much more i have to see yet.
surprised? well, i was too. till you would hear this. went to GURNEE MILLS. its a factory outlet for all the big brands here in USA. It is a few miles away from Chicago, a plce called Gurnee.
a huge complex as usual, i underestimated its hugeness, till when it was time to come back. six hours in the shopping mall, and i didnt see eevn half of it. wasnt tht crazy?
went through all the shops i could, buying a few stuffs and seeing many more. lots more.......cosmetics, and beds and lovely curtains and what not.......they are so amazing, i wanted to be rich, so rich that i could get it all. they also have stores for buying boats here. cars usually get the extra latch in the back of the car, where u can actually hook ur boat and take it to the river or lake and then go for that ride.
was good enough and i want to be back again soon. its lovely, going around the place is a treat in itself. as i have my kidney beans cooking in my kitchen and i sit and plan my cyber magazine as how it should look lke....god, i want so much from life.
they just beautify every thing they can. i was surprised to go through the Mccormick road, where u ahve a statue of Gandhi here. every part is so differnt, so wanting to be seen.
a night drive to downtown or the lakeshore drive could just drive one crazy. its just so bautiful. u have this sky scrapers tht i have seen in books when i was a child, and suddenly they are in front of me , with lights flashing all over. in the night, its all lighted. so much so that the night sky lies invisible. it all glitters.
the lake shore drive as i mentioned, is the road around the lake michigan, one of my favorit places here. its huge, has the museum and things all around. its windy usually, but its lovely. peole come to visit , to take pics , to jog in the evening , theres always someone right there.
i wish i could show it to all of you. a world that we have seen in films, in books , suddenly opens up before you. i miss all of you, that we couldnt do it together, so i thought may be through this u can actually see wht i see here and enjoy so much.
the downtown (the downtown is like the centre of the city, where u ahve all the offices and shopping centres) McDonalds that i went last week, after getting my first silly salary here, took my breath. u order in the ground floor and then u go to the frst floor to eat through escalators. the frst time i was in an escalator was in calcutta metro. i went there to see an escalator and next time i was in airport dragging along my baggage annd me and trying to mantain my balance while coming here n USA.
next view would be of the DEVON AVENUE in Chicago its the indian hub. INDIA in Chicago.
till then.........enjoy!!!!

Lifes changing, so are we. everydays new. evertime i am up their in the flight, i treasure my life. everyone deserves a treat. just everyone. enjoy the time , the warmthness of life, the birds and the fun.
my new routine......out of the blue of sleepless nights and unending projects.
my summer vacation is on. nothing could be better, with all the color in the air and the frshness around. who would want more?
great time to take on a new look, may be to get over all the regular kind of life and take on something new. now, who doesnt want change? just trying to shed off a few pounds.....so eating all healthy and trying to take my friends in the same track.
healthy eating......and the craving for some burst of taste.....so, i get a amazing cheese hot dog homemade....today mrning, all salads and chicken noodle soup.......lots of water and exercise schedule to be done at night.
i always look for some change....some zing in my life, so that its never monotonous. might color my hair or just change some things.not decided though wht it would be though. but something nice and silly...to make me rocking again!! lifes fun......should be..becoz we all work hard, to make it so.

enjoy!!!

saturday is to enjoy

satuday is always a laid back day for me here, good weather, events happeningwhen you want to step out of ur home, and yet are burdened with too many works.
the day was full of unending projects, but cricket cannot be side straemed. so, our indian association of the university planned to have a cricket match. the late afternoon spent on cheering them and my increasing weights solution-dieting went waste. i ended up with pizza, coke and ice cream.
back home and was time to wind up the project, ended up with emailing the project to my frinds, part of the project.life seemed all stuck- so a movie wouldnt be bad. KILL BILL-was ok for the time.
evening was all studies and finally the great expedition me and my room mate had made before. make dosa for dinner. was a great dinner undoubtedly. i matered in the art of making them. easy once you tend to get the rythm of it. i always enjoyed having the home made dosas back home. though i never made them.
final touch of the day, my frineds drop in at 10 pm. our indian cricke team is playing another match with another university at night. so , we went to cheer for them again. the drive was good , that is what always lures me in such things.
it was a india pakistan match. our indian association palys against their pakistan association. not bad, huh? went there to find, they will be playing in the huge parking lot, unlike our beautiful ground. the players seemed more like uncles than students and course their built, ...well...er....almost like inzamam i would say. huge, our kids looked like cartoon characters beside them.
they won the tos and wanted to bat. game was cut short , since they started late at 12 mid night. they bashed us left and right with all fours and sixes. well 15 overs and 179 runs.
hmmmmmmmmm, i wanted to come back home. we couldnt win was clear ad was too cold outside. it was windy and we had light pullovers with us. of course, maddy, the cricket captain and n one of our close frnds seemed to never habe cleabed his car. so had lots of woolen in his car. they were all hired for the night. it was fun, cheering and shivering at the sane time.
we went out for coffee, ut was closed and the one tht ws openedhad the coffee machine out of order. bad timing. came back hungry, again to see that our team slogged to make 140...not bad i would i say.
we lost , but enjoyed a lot. the pakistani team wdnt come to play on our grounds. they always stuck themselves with their homeground. bad guys!!!! come here and we would bash you too.
came back hoem around 3am, to see my room mate meghna still busy with my computer chatting her family and frnds back home. finally, went to bed. instant sleep and woke up at 11 am this mroning.
more work , coz i took a few hours off yesterday. one more month to wrok and then fre for 2 months . coz its summer and most of them dnt take classes in smmer. you work , u travel and you think about ur next tution to be paid.
not bad, as sit on my ned typing this, i have papers and books all over my floor- thts called the project effect. need to be cleared and perhaps today would be the day to start eating wise. it is not hot today, weather seem pleasant, so...a good walk for exercise wouldnt be bad too.
my next column is soon due. to whoever reads my clumn thes days, thanks forbeing so paitent, and i hope u enjoy reading them as much as i enjoy writing them. c ya now. enjoy!!!!